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The secret to being happy is to be happy.
Okay, that post is done, what next?
Seriously, the real secret to being happy is to choose to be happy right now. Choose carefully what you focus on in your life and you can choose happiness. Choose to focus on all of the sadness, disappointment and frustration in your life, and I can guarantee you will get more of the same. Turn your focus to the daily joys, laughter and love and again, you will get more of the same. Here are some do’s and don’ts to keep you on the happier side of life.
Does the Universe/God Read Facebook?
You better hope the answer to that question is NO!!!! Status updates are like little beams of intention being shot out into the universe and I have serious concerns about some of the things I read on a daily basis. The “why does this always happen to me” status updates make me nuts. Guess what? It always happens to you because you just wrote that it always happens to you.
I have had my moments where I have written less than positive status updates, but I try really hard to keep myself from doing it. There is absolutely no reason to affirm unhappiness in my life by writing it down and blasting it to the universe. So, if you want to be happy, start by posting happy status updates. Instead of focusing on your frustrations, focus on what is going right in your day right that moment. Over time you will find this easier to do, and it can be almost like a little gratitude/happiness journal for you!
Being Happy to Get Stuff - Not a Good Plan
One of my big pet peeves with the Law of Attraction craze is that many people are forcing themselves to be happy and/or grateful for the sole purpose of getting stuff. They read and hear that gratitude and a happy attitude are a key to the LOA, so they are making sure to practice gratitude and trying to be happy in the moment. Sounds like that would be a great thing, right?
unfortunately, there is a problem with this approach in that It is not sustainable because it is simply a means to an end. If you were to learn that no matter how grateful or happy you were, you were never going to get rich or get that big car, or great job, would you still do it? If the answer is no, you can kiss all that stuff good-bye anyway. If you answered yes, than you are truly happy and living the good life anyway, so who cares about the stuff?
“Uh, Melissa, please tell me you aren’t becoming one of those stuff-is-bad types!”
Not to worry dear reader, I am just trying to make sure that you realize that the goal in life is to live it today and to be happy and grateful today. Tomorrow may never come. Stuff, money and power are just stuff, money and power. Emotions and connections are real and they are what will be left of you after you are gone. Look at all of the unhappy millionaires and celebrities in the world. If money and stuff were so great, they’d all be exploding with joy. Instead so many of them are lost. That isn’t because money and stuff are bad, it’s because they lost sight of what really matters deep down inside.
Please don’t let that happen to you. Focus on the feelings and the connections to your friends, families and communities and you will find happiness. You may also get some stuff along the way and that would be really cool.
Be Happy All the Time?
When I speak of happiness, I’m not talking about skipping down the street whistling a jaunty tune happiness. I am talking about a feeling deep within your heart that things are good and right. I hesitate to use the word contentment because that carries with it a stigma of settling for something in a negative way for many people. Taking stock of your life and your blessings is a great way to start on the road to continual, sustainable happiness. Life is generally good for most of us and the more you realize that the happier you will be.
The blessings part is easy. If you are reading this I already know that you are way better off than the majority of people alive on the planet. You have an internet connection, which generally means you also have access to clean running water, food, shelter and medical care. Chances are you are not dodging bullets on your way to the market, and you don’t live in fear of missiles landing in your village or your children being sold into slavery. These are all reasons to be happy, very happy!
What I find humbling is that people who cannot say the same still manage to laugh, sing and love. If they can do it under their circumstances, what excuse do we have for being miserable? I now that it is all relative, but come on…do we really have it that bad????
Life will throw us all some pretty major curve balls along the way and we may even get hit by a few pitches, but in the long run we will still laugh more than we cry. I have been knocked senseless a few times so far on my journey, but even while scraping the ragged pieces of my heart up off the pavement, I knew moments of peace and joy. I knew that I wasn’t alone and that no pain, no matter how great, would last forever. That knowledge alone was cause for happiness and that kind of true happiness can be with you always.
Can I Still Have the Stuff?
My heartfelt advice is to work on cultivating a true attitude of happiness and gratitude and worry about the stuff later. Once you get your heart, mind and soul straight on this path you will know what ”stuff” you really need or want. What you think you want right now might not be the right stuff (pardon the movie pun) for you.
So you could be focusing your visualization, hard work and dream building on something that will never be yours because God and the Universe know it doesn’t really belong with you! Even worse, they could let you have it as a lesson to be learned, and that lesson will not be pleasant! I got a job like that once. I pushed and pushed the universe and I got a job and it was the most miserable work experience ever!!!!! I will NEVER do that again…at least that’s what I though until I started pushing again last year, but more on that later.
Here’s something I would like you to try for the next month. Instead of telling God and the Universe what you want, ask them to show you what they want for you. Instead of having specific intentions, hold in your heart the overall intention that whatever is best for you will come your way. This is kind of an homage to the “let go, let God” message of my youth. I believe this will be a very eye opening experience for many of you who have been pushing so hard for “stuff”.
I know this to be true because I was making this mistake myself. Go back and read some of my earlier posts, and see how badly I wanted a new house. I used to spend each night visualizing my dream house. I even had pictures of it on my desk and I truly believed it would be mine. Luckily for me that dream didn’t come true! Today I know in my heart that our home is exactly the right place for us. It is so filled with good vibrations and love from the family of 6 that were the original owners, and by our happy little family! We feel so, well… at home there! Nowadays the idea of moving actually makes me sad. So go figure!
How about my work from home being a writer dream? Yup that was the pushing I mentioned earlier. Well, someday I believe that will happen…actually I know it, but as hard as I pushed it always seemed like something was pushing back even harder. Then I stopped pushing and told God to do His thing and, voila, here I am loving my new position and looking forward to each new day! Funny how this role didn’t even exist and then, POOF! it was dropped in my lap. That one really made me step back and think and has kept me thinking for the past four months.
As a result of letting go, I actually got stuff, just not all the stuff I thought I wanted. Still, I did get more money so I can get a lot of the little stuff that I have dreamed of, and that makes me very happy.
Where to Start?
Start by making a list of all the reasons you have to be happy right now, today. From there start taking a hard look at your motivations and your intentions. Do you feel anything pushing back when you are pushing forward on a dream? Are you motivated by the stuff and not the emotions? Is it time to let go and just let happiness find you?
I am setting a specific intention right now, actually. It is that someone will read this today and find their way to true happiness. Will it be you?
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